Good morning friends!
Today is a very important and personal topic for me. The way we see ourselves can be so clouded by stigma’s that society sets upon us without us even knowing it can affect us in a negative way. If you are like me, you’ve found yourself in front of a dressing room mirror, staring, picking apart everything that is wrong instead of focusing on the beauty you possess.
For me, it was always fat shaming, I wasn’t fit enough, thin enough, my thighs touched, my skin wasn’t clear….you name it I’ve probably thought of it. Being that person in the mirror can be incredibly part to change, but, it’s important to understand why we do what we do and learn easy tips to overcome the negative self talk to be more empowered and inspired women.
What’s wrong with us, why do we do this?
For years I didn’t even notice what I was doing, it took me a long time to understand why I thought less of myself than others did. Sure, we can blame the media, movies, celebrities and anything else we want. But it doesn’t have to be this way. It’s going to take work but it’s worth retraining your brain.
Our brains are constantly taking in and processing information. Yes, as you walk down the street or through the mall, you’re going to see pictures, things, clothes that trigger that negative self talk but those thoughts don’t serve us and honestly probably aren’t even true.
Body shaming is a behavior that can be inevitable. If not addressed, can lead to depression and eating disorders. It sets a foundation for us to feel worse about our efforts and actions then we should. If not controlled and manifested, it can spill out into other areas of our lives.
So….how do we change the game? Here’s 5 tips for how to positively handle the next time you are feeling down or comparing yourself to others.
1. Focus on what is in your control
Remove the phrase “I am not enough” from your vocabulary. Instead of focusing on how you feel you are, focus on your actions, the tangible things that you can control. Get a small journal and start to write down your accomplishments. Remind yourself of the things that you do that bring you success in your life. Odds are your size or the number on the scale won’t be on that list.
2. Reframe your thoughts
This has been hard for me, I will be honest with you always, this is difficult but possible. This can take away the power that our negative thoughts hold over us. When you start to notice a negative thought creeping in, re-route that thought with a positive opposition. When you start to say something negative about your body, re-route and compliment yourself. Stop focusing on what you don’t have and embrace your own beauty.
3. Become more mindful
Just because you think something doesn’t mean that it’s true, realize that like yesterday lol. You don’t have to accept every negative thought that comes into your head. Instead of formally accepting that negative thought as truth, realize you’re having the thought but pull back. This helps to separate thought from truth. Don’t try to ignore the thoughts, because then can come back with a fierce nature. It’s okay to recognize the thoughts or feelings, just be more mindful and do not allow yourself to live in that moment. Accept it, move forward, facilitate more self-compassion.
4.Comparison is the thief of your joy-stop that nonsense
It’s easier said then done, but have you ever compared yourself to someone and actually felt better? Hell no. So stop that nonsense. Stop thinking “why don’t I look like ____?” Realize that those who you idolize don’t even look like their pictures. Magazines utilize so many techniques and angles to emphasize a reality that doesn’t always exist.
If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, stop. If it’s on social media, close the app. If you’re in a store, walk out. Rerouting your thoughts can be just that quick. Personally, I have found unfollowing those who make me feel inferior extremely helpful.
5. Be kind….to yourself
Would you say the things that you say to yourself to those you love? If you’re like me, helllll to the no. So, why do we say such mean things to ourselves when we love hard on everyone else around us? You know you would never tolerate someone speaking to you the way you speak to yourself so why do we accept it?
Being compassionate towards others is easy, but when it comes to ourselves it takes some retraining. Instead of being consumed with self-doubt embark on a new path of self-love and acceptance. Step away from the stories that you formulate in your head and start reciting positive affirmations and manifesting the destiny you know you deserve and desire.
Now go kick ass and repeat.