Hello! Yes, I have finally emerged and if you’re one of the kind souls frequenting my site in my absence you are probably wondering WTF where did Gina Marie go? And that my friend requires a lengthy explanation that could not be done in the characters of an Instagram post.
Since coming out about my IBS/IBSC diagnosis 8 years ago, there’s a group of people who follow me for that content. Which, they know, is extremely hard for me because having this severe of a form of this condition has made me exceptionally insecure.
Then, fast forward to 8 months ago. While I was laying on the bathroom floor crying from severe pain, I realized that those previous insecurities were nothing compared to what I was battling now. So if you’re someone who can’t handle some honest GI talk close your browser now lol.
8 months ago, I knew in my heart something was wrong this time. I’ve had terrible bouts before. I’ve gone weeks without being able to go to the bathroom. But this time, this time was different. If you’re like, “wait, wtf weeks?” Yes, welcome to my reality. I have never gone to the bathroom daily or even weekly in my entire adult life.
And since getting my diagnosis, year after year, bout after bout, it’s gone from weekly to being lucky if I could even go on my own at times. Hence, why I said my insecurities have worsened. Being single in this world is hard enough. Add on a condition that’s less than desirable made me feel even more self-conscious and overly self-critical.
8 months ago, it had been over 3 weeks since I had last gone to the bathroom. My abdomen was extremely distended. My weight was climbing. The pain took my breath away at times. And I started to shy from social situations because my body was officially rejecting all food, again.
It only took 1 xray to prove my assumptions were true. This time, this bout, I had developed what would be one of many impacted intestines. Each xray, each month, the doctors would fine another one, each time worse than the last. My body literally could not do what it’s supposed to do on it’s own.
Which leads to that night, 8 months ago, laying on the bathroom floor after doing yet another enema…yeah I told you we were going there. It didn’t work and that’s when the doctor’s and myself knew, this time wasn’t like the others. Days of what I like to call “emergency medication” was administered never truly getting relief.
Appointment after appointment. Month after month. Eventually, I was up 20 pounds. Uncomfortable 24/7. And not getting answers. A friend had recommended I go to a chiropractor (which btw a lot of chronic constipation patients benefit from btw). There is where I had imaging that further confirmed this was so much more than just IBSC.
Nerve involvement. Hearing those words I didn’t quite understand how problematic it would become until receiving weeks of treatment. Because of how distended my abdomen had been for so long caused anatomical issues in my spine. The nerves that innervate that area of my stomach being affected were being closed off and I had lost sensation from my belly button to midway in my pelvis. I was losing the natural abilities our bodies need to function.
After months of treatment, I had some relief but the chiropractor expressed his concerns, wrote a letter to my doctor and explained what he found. Which lead me to going back to my GI specialist. We had a discussion, scheduled another colonoscopy and that is where I learned about a medication that could actually HELP.
After 8 years, there was finally a medication for people like me. But, in true American healthcare form, it was expensive AF. Came with an extensive requirement list of pre-auth testing and two failed medication regimens to even be considered.
After my colonoscopy showed a new, smaller scale problem and no cancer I was put on a medication we knew wouldn’t work but it was part of the criteria. After failing miserably on that medication too, I FINALLY qualified for pre-auth approval.
Yet, because we live in America, even though you pay hefty sums of cash to your insurance and rarely use it, you still don’t always get what you need. I was denied the medication by the insurance company. A person, in an office somewhere, with no medical degree decided I didn’t need it. Solely because of it’s cost.
It didn’t matter how sick I was. It didn’t matter how poor my quality of life was getting. It didn’t matter I jumped through all the hoops. They rather make me pay thousands of dollars for testing to qualify just to be turned down. So I fought. And my doctors fought. And the day I drove to move to Florida we finally got approval.
Honestly, even though I work in healthcare, it BLOWS MY MIND that strangers in an office determine medical care and a doctor only has so much control of his patient’s care these days. They’d rather I get sicker than just pay for what would actually work. And I know that’s because sick people make this country a lot of money.
It’s been 5 weeks on that medication and I kid you not my life is DRASTICALLY BETTER. My body is doing what it couldn’t almost every day. I am finally starting to lose the weight. Although, I still have pain from time to time it doesn’t stop me in my tracks. My energy levels are finally improving. The sensation hasn’t returned but I consciously work on abdominal strength in hopes one day that may come too.
But, I am finally on the right track to being healthy after 8 years of truly never being consistently well. That my friend, is something I am forever going to be grateful for because my other options were things I still am not ready to publicly talk about.
Which leads me to today. To this very minute. To finally feeling ready to get back to my website, to take on new clients and start producing consistent content when I move into my new apartment next week. If you know me, you know I always say “don’t apologize” you’re a human being.
This lengthy chapter today, isn’t an apology as much as it’s to be our constant reminder you never know what someone is going through. To the outside world, other than suddenly gaining a lot of weight fast, I didn’t “look sick.” But, behind the scenes, I was battling more than most knew.
So, here’s to digging deep mind, body and soul & taking things to a new level.
All my love and appreciation for your support & kindness!
-Gina Marie FIT
